A Long Way To Go

I mentioned as a concluding thought on my Oct 17th post how every decision has a price tag. My pricetag is integrity. I've made some poor decisions lately, namely bad-mouthing some folks on this site--this material has been subsequently deleted. A person told me a few months ago that I needed to work on my people skills, and I thought I had been doing better until it was brought to my attention how I have affected those people. I let him down and I have let Christians down because I have acted in a manner unworthy of the Gospel. I know I wouldn't want to be a Christian if I had to deal with me. I have made it a burden for these to be around me. So I have a heavy heart. I need to work to restore those relationships, if they can be restored. I have acted foolishly even though these have dealt with me only with kindness. Although I would like it, I don't expect their forgiveness. I have been insensitive to them and have condescended to them at times, which should never be done. The same person who told me of my problem mentioned that I should deal with everyone as though they were my wife. Sage advice. If I were to treat C like I have these, it would be a rocky marriage at best.
The old axiom rings true about if you don't have anything good to say, then don't say it. But it goes far beyond not saying anything. Rather, I should lift them up and sincerely thank them for their kindness. I know I can't make up for this. Only my actions and words will be able to express my feelings. So, if they ever read this, I apologize. As mature as I am compared to five years ago, I am still a two-year-old compared to Christ, and even to these I have offended.
Thank you for the second and third chances, even though I don't deserve them.
R