In case you missed them, I panned both Jason Castro and Paula Abdul in two recent posts.
Jason did nothing tonight to prove me wrong, and, in fact, made things worse for himself. The only way he gets through is if that web site asks all its readers to vote for him.
Was Paula drunk tonight? I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she was thrown off by Seacrest's impromptu call for a quick assessment. (He had previously said the judges would give their takes after the second song. When she started talking about Jason's second song, the cameras quickly focused in on the confused host, contestants, judges and audience. And once more I plead with you, LOSE THE BANGS! I know the '80s are coming back, but at least with those bangs we could still see your eyes. Maybe she was trying to hide the dark circles from her hangover!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Simmons Cracks Me Up
For those of you that don't know, I'm a big fan of the Sports Guy on ESPN2. He's got a great sense of humor and regular gets me laughing.
Today at lunch I was reading his Awards column. Scroll to about two-thirds the way down and read the section entitled The Raymond Babbit Award, but especially the aside in parenthesis. I almost spewed the water in my mouth and I was literally crying.
Thanks SG. Keep it up.
Today at lunch I was reading his Awards column. Scroll to about two-thirds the way down and read the section entitled The Raymond Babbit Award, but especially the aside in parenthesis. I almost spewed the water in my mouth and I was literally crying.
Thanks SG. Keep it up.
Date Night
C and I went out on Wednesday night to the outlet mall.
You know how in most stores the clerks don't care if you go into the dressing room together? Well, we went to this one store called Papaya, where they had two signs posted outside the dressing room area that said "NO BOYS ALLOWED". I applaud them for having the mores to not allow guys in. While it may be a convenience for those married folks who want to put something flirty on just to see how it looks, I'd rather them have a moral compass.
After we were done shopping, we sat down in Starbucks to make some lists to help us be better organized. While we were there, I noticed a sign on a Sirena Espresso Machine that said:
"Everyday low price $399"
If that's the low price, I'd hate to pay the normal price. Sheesh.
You know how in most stores the clerks don't care if you go into the dressing room together? Well, we went to this one store called Papaya, where they had two signs posted outside the dressing room area that said "NO BOYS ALLOWED". I applaud them for having the mores to not allow guys in. While it may be a convenience for those married folks who want to put something flirty on just to see how it looks, I'd rather them have a moral compass.
After we were done shopping, we sat down in Starbucks to make some lists to help us be better organized. While we were there, I noticed a sign on a Sirena Espresso Machine that said:
"Everyday low price $399"
If that's the low price, I'd hate to pay the normal price. Sheesh.
American Idol Results Show
Last night on American Idol, Paula Abdul was voted off. A stunned Paula Abdul lashed out at the voting public "I just renewed my contract. You can't vote me off!" Ryan Seacrest asked fellow judges Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson what Paula could take away from her time on the show to help her in the future.
Randy said "You know, it was just a'ight for me. I wasn't really feeling it this season. I think she found her niche with all the complimenting. Maybe having actual thoughts isn't what she's best at. I think she should try motivational speaking."
Simon replied "I thought her judging this season has been rather cabaret. She had a strong show in week two of the finals when she actually gave a relevant opinion based on the singing. I think going forward she needs to stop focusing on the contestants' appearance and more on their vocals."
Producer Simon Fuller was seen backstage giving high-fives to everyone he saw. He gave an extended hug to a surprised key grip. Asked to explain his jubilation, Fuller gave the following press release, including a job posting:
Dear Idol fans,
Although we were given only six-and-a-half years of Paula's presence on Idol, it felt so much longer. She was a key third member of our judging panel and provided an uplifting spirit to help our contestants feel good about themselves even when they performed poorly. In lieu of flowers, please feel free to buy a Ford, a Coca-Cola product or donate to Idol Gives Back.
In the spirit of Idol Gives Back, we are sending Paula to Ethiopia for what would have been the remainder of her contract with Fox.
Consequently, we are in need of an analyst to join Simon and Randy. The successful candidate must have a mind of her own, be able to form a cogent analysis of the performances, and have a stylist with a sense of current fashion trends (Note: No bangs allowed). Experience feigning romantic tension a plus.
Sincerely,
Simon Fuller
(Sigh) If only that were true.
Randy said "You know, it was just a'ight for me. I wasn't really feeling it this season. I think she found her niche with all the complimenting. Maybe having actual thoughts isn't what she's best at. I think she should try motivational speaking."
Simon replied "I thought her judging this season has been rather cabaret. She had a strong show in week two of the finals when she actually gave a relevant opinion based on the singing. I think going forward she needs to stop focusing on the contestants' appearance and more on their vocals."
Producer Simon Fuller was seen backstage giving high-fives to everyone he saw. He gave an extended hug to a surprised key grip. Asked to explain his jubilation, Fuller gave the following press release, including a job posting:
Dear Idol fans,
Although we were given only six-and-a-half years of Paula's presence on Idol, it felt so much longer. She was a key third member of our judging panel and provided an uplifting spirit to help our contestants feel good about themselves even when they performed poorly. In lieu of flowers, please feel free to buy a Ford, a Coca-Cola product or donate to Idol Gives Back.
In the spirit of Idol Gives Back, we are sending Paula to Ethiopia for what would have been the remainder of her contract with Fox.
Consequently, we are in need of an analyst to join Simon and Randy. The successful candidate must have a mind of her own, be able to form a cogent analysis of the performances, and have a stylist with a sense of current fashion trends (Note: No bangs allowed). Experience feigning romantic tension a plus.
Sincerely,
Simon Fuller
(Sigh) If only that were true.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
American Idol
We have some neighbors who casually know Jason Castro.
He seems like a good kid.
But Top 10 good? I don't think so. If he didn't have those eyes of his, he would've been booted a long time ago. But he's garnering the coveted 12-30 female demographic because "He's so dreamy!".
He has yet to really show off his pipes, instead settling for ballads, which, in most Idol seasons, would be enough to get you gone early. But with the weak overall talent, especially from the ladies, he's been able to stay.
Let's just some it up with a question from my 3-year-old last night when we saw the recap:
"Mommy, what's her name?"
Aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnd...
I'm out.
He seems like a good kid.
But Top 10 good? I don't think so. If he didn't have those eyes of his, he would've been booted a long time ago. But he's garnering the coveted 12-30 female demographic because "He's so dreamy!".
He has yet to really show off his pipes, instead settling for ballads, which, in most Idol seasons, would be enough to get you gone early. But with the weak overall talent, especially from the ladies, he's been able to stay.
Let's just some it up with a question from my 3-year-old last night when we saw the recap:
"Mommy, what's her name?"
Aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnd...
I'm out.
Allergies
If you live in Austin long enough, you'll develop allergies, even if you haven't had them your whole life. We complain about the pollen around here, and rightfully so. Our daughters get nailed with it several times a year. Just recently, M was diagnosed with allergy-induced asthma, which gives her this horrible cough for weeks at a time. It usually hits during the winter, so we'll be ready for it later this year. When it hits S, she's a big snotty mess. C and I usually keep at least one tissue tucked in our pockets so we'll be able to wipe her face before she can get to it. She doesn't quite look like Pizza the Hut, but it can get gruesome.
A Forbes study on worst city for allergies lists Austin as only #54, down from #24 a year ago. It doesn't seem that much better. Of course it doesn't help that we have a yoooge (as The Donald would say) oak tree in our front yard.
Maybe I should just buy stock in Puffs.
A Forbes study on worst city for allergies lists Austin as only #54, down from #24 a year ago. It doesn't seem that much better. Of course it doesn't help that we have a yoooge (as The Donald would say) oak tree in our front yard.
Maybe I should just buy stock in Puffs.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Camping
We had a good time, the sleeping battles notwithstanding. We're gonna need a bigger tent next time.
Two nights did prove nicer than just one since we didn't have to hurriedly pack our bags first thing in the morning.
We couldn't have asked for better weather, even though it was in the upper 30s both nights.
Saturday morning I did a terrible job trying to start a fire from the hot ashes. Not being a person that likes to make the same mistake again, I watched Alpha Pig and came back Sunday morning with a good fire going to warm us up.
You know you've been outside too much when you look at your feet and wonder if it's a flip-flop tan or you just got the first layer of dirt off. Thankfully it's the former.
And finally, whereas I usually space out my farmer tanning over several weeks, I just decided to get it done in two days. Nice golden neck and arms. Pale everywhere else.
Two nights did prove nicer than just one since we didn't have to hurriedly pack our bags first thing in the morning.
We couldn't have asked for better weather, even though it was in the upper 30s both nights.
Saturday morning I did a terrible job trying to start a fire from the hot ashes. Not being a person that likes to make the same mistake again, I watched Alpha Pig and came back Sunday morning with a good fire going to warm us up.
You know you've been outside too much when you look at your feet and wonder if it's a flip-flop tan or you just got the first layer of dirt off. Thankfully it's the former.
And finally, whereas I usually space out my farmer tanning over several weeks, I just decided to get it done in two days. Nice golden neck and arms. Pale everywhere else.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Links
In this article excerpt republished as the NFL draft approaches, The Hair talks about how Ryan Leaf could throw accurate darts on the run and how it "make[s] you hit the rewind button on the VCR." Bye-bye VCR, hello TiVo. What will it be in 5 years?
A story out of India that a couple's first child has a rare malformation called craniofacial duplication. Beware photos of the child, which may be unsettling for young children possibly sitting in your lap. The unfortunate part is that, in this deeply superstitious part of rural India, people believe Lali is a reincarnation of the goddess Durga and they're petitioning the government for funds to build a shrine to their deity of valor.
This article details the "21 on 21" drinking binge that apparently 30% of kids take part in on their 21st birthday. I remember my freshman year at school when my roommate pledged Acacia house. They took him out drinking on his birthday. He came home in the early-morning hours and woke up still drunk at three in the afternoon. I personally think allowing a child to have a limited amount of alcohol before the turn 21, and maybe sooner, would drive down the incidence of binge drinking and alcoholism in young "adults". I think it's the mystique of illegality that drives young people to dangerous habits, whether it be alcohol or drugs. Take away that mystique before they leave the nest and they're probably less likely to engage in such destructive behavior.
Finally, there's an article about a magazine creator who gives this purpose and drive for his lifestyle:
"I could not bear just being a publisher or a planter of trees or just being a mad hedonist. I'm immensely greedy and I want it all. I'm just trying to have a bloody good time filling in the gap between being born and dying."
That's why I'm scared for my daughters. That is the prevailing mindset for so many lost souls. That is the epitaph for millions of young people and will be for millions, even billions more, if they don't hear about Jesus the Christ. Not the Jesus that's castigated and viewed as just a prophet or a good teacher, but the true Son of God whose perfect life and resurrection from the dead alone gives us the hope of eternal life.
A story out of India that a couple's first child has a rare malformation called craniofacial duplication. Beware photos of the child, which may be unsettling for young children possibly sitting in your lap. The unfortunate part is that, in this deeply superstitious part of rural India, people believe Lali is a reincarnation of the goddess Durga and they're petitioning the government for funds to build a shrine to their deity of valor.
This article details the "21 on 21" drinking binge that apparently 30% of kids take part in on their 21st birthday. I remember my freshman year at school when my roommate pledged Acacia house. They took him out drinking on his birthday. He came home in the early-morning hours and woke up still drunk at three in the afternoon. I personally think allowing a child to have a limited amount of alcohol before the turn 21, and maybe sooner, would drive down the incidence of binge drinking and alcoholism in young "adults". I think it's the mystique of illegality that drives young people to dangerous habits, whether it be alcohol or drugs. Take away that mystique before they leave the nest and they're probably less likely to engage in such destructive behavior.
Finally, there's an article about a magazine creator who gives this purpose and drive for his lifestyle:
"I could not bear just being a publisher or a planter of trees or just being a mad hedonist. I'm immensely greedy and I want it all. I'm just trying to have a bloody good time filling in the gap between being born and dying."
That's why I'm scared for my daughters. That is the prevailing mindset for so many lost souls. That is the epitaph for millions of young people and will be for millions, even billions more, if they don't hear about Jesus the Christ. Not the Jesus that's castigated and viewed as just a prophet or a good teacher, but the true Son of God whose perfect life and resurrection from the dead alone gives us the hope of eternal life.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Priceless
In this article on MSNBC.com, a Serbian farmer was ordered to give half of everything he owned to his ex-wife of 45 years.
Miffed at having to decide which farm tools to give up, he just cut them in half instead. Then he gave this quote:
"I still haven't decided how to split the cow," he told the newspaper. "She should just say what she wants — the part with the horns or the part with the tail."
Hope that brings a smile to your face. I know I needed it today.
Miffed at having to decide which farm tools to give up, he just cut them in half instead. Then he gave this quote:
"I still haven't decided how to split the cow," he told the newspaper. "She should just say what she wants — the part with the horns or the part with the tail."
Hope that brings a smile to your face. I know I needed it today.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)